Balancing Your Work, house and social Life

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Balancing Your Work, family and collective Life
By Gene Griessman, PhD
 
            Many of us have an image of personal balance as a set of scales in perfect balance every day. But that's an unrealistic goal. You are in for a lot of discontentment if you try to allocate within every day a predetermined quantum of time for work, family and your collective life.  An illness may upset all your plans. A business scheme may request peaks of intense work, followed by valleys of slow time.
            balance requires continual adjustments, like an acrobat on a high wire who permanently shifts his weight to the right and to the left. By focusing on four main areas of your life - emotional/spiritual needs, relationships, intellectual needs and physical needs - at work and away from  work, you can begin to walk the high wire safely.
            Here, drawn from my conversations with many high successful Americans, are ten ideas for balancing all aspects of your life:
1.      Make an appointment with yourself. Banish from your mind the idea that everyone takes precedence over you. Don't use your organizer or calendar just for appointments with others. Give yourself some prime time. Regularly  do something you enjoy. It will recharge your batteries. Once you've put yourself on your calendar, guard those appointments. Kay Koplovitz founder of the Usa cable television network, which is on the air 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year. Koplovitz ran the daily operations of the network for 21 years. For more than two decades, there was all the time some possible claim on her time. Therefore she vigilantly protected a scheduled tennis match just as she would a business appointment.
2.      Care for your body. Having a high energy level is a trait held by many extremely successful people. No matter what your gift level of energy, you can growth it by following these steps:
Eat. Don't skip meals. Your physical and mental energy depend upon nourishment. Irregular eating patterns can cause a frayed temper, depression, lack of creativity and a nervous stomach.
Exercise. Over and over again, extremely successful citizen mention the benefit of exercise routines. Johnetta Cole, president of Bennett College for Women and previous president of Spelman College, does a four-mile walk each morning. She calls it her mobile meditation. The benefits of exercise are mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. If you are healthier and have more stamina, you can work great and longer.
Rest. A psychologist who has studied creative citizen reports that they rest often and sleep a lot.
3.      Cut some slack. You do not have to do everything. Just the right things. Publisher Steve Forbes taught me a lesson: "Don't be a slave to your in-box. Just because there's something there doesn't mean you have to do it." As a result, every evening, I extract from my long list to-do list just a few "musts" for the following day. If, but three o'clock the next day, I've crossed off all the "musts," I know that everything else I do that day will be icing on the cake. It is a great psychological plus for me.
There is nothing wrong with pushing yourself hard, disciplining yourself to
do what needs to be done when you hold yourself to the highest standards. That builds up durableness and turns you into a pro. At time, though, you must forgive yourself. You will never become 100 percent efficient, nor should you expect to be. After something does not work, ask yourself, "Did I do my best? If you did, accept the outcome. All you can do is all you can do.
4.      Blur the boundaries. Some very successful citizen perform balance by setting aside times or days for family, recreation, hobbies or the like. They originate boundaries around definite activities and safe them. Other individuals who are just as successful do just the opposite. They blur the boundaries. Says advisor Alan Weiss, "I work out of my home. In the afternoon, I might be watching my kids play at the pool or be out with my wife. On Saturday, or at ten o'clock on a weeknight, I might be working. I do things when the spirit moves me, and when they're appropriate."
Some jobs don't lend themselves to this strategy. But obscuring the boundaries is possible more often than you may think. One way is to involve citizen you care about in what you do. For example, many companies encourage employees to bring their spouses to conferences and annual meetings. It's a good idea. If citizen who mean a great deal to you understand what you do, they can share more fully in your successes and failures. They also are more likely to be a good sounding board for your ideas.
5.      Take a break. Many therapists believe that taking a break from a work disposition can have major benefits for mental and physical health. Pro speaker and executive coach Barbara Pagano practices a kind of quick charge, by scheduling a day every few months with no agenda. For her, that means staying in her pajamas, unplugging the phone, watching old movie or reading a novel in bed. For that one day, nothing happens, except what she decides from hour to hour. Adds singer and composer Billy Joel, "There are times when you need to let the field lie fallow." Joel is describing what farmers often do: let a plot rest so the soil can replenish itself.
6.      Take the road less traveled. Occasionally, get off the expressway and take a side road, nothing else but and figuratively. That road may take you to the library or to the golf course. Do something out of the commonplace to avoid the well-worn grooves of your life. Try a new route to work, a dissimilar radio hub or a dissimilar cereal. Break out of your old mold occasionally, with a new way to dress or a dissimilar hobby. The road less traveled can be a reward after a demanding event, a carrot that you reward your self with or it can be a good way to loosen up before a big event. Bobby Dodd, the legendary football coach at Georgia Tech, knew the power of this concept. While other coaches were putting their teams straight through brutal twice-a-day practices, Dodd's team did their drills and practices, but then took time to relax, play touch football and enjoy the bowl sites. Did the idea work? In six right championships games!
7.      Be still. Susan Taylor, editorial director of Essence, sees to it that she has quiet time every morning. She regards it as a time for centering - for being still and listening. She keeps a paper and pen with her to jot down ideas that come to her. The way you use solitary time should match your values, beliefs and temperament. Some individuals devote a quarterly time each day to visualize themselves attaining their goals and dreams. Others read, pray, meditate, do yoga or just observe a sunrise or sunset. Anything form it takes, time spent alone can have an colossal payoff. Achievers talk about an inner drive they find and how it helps them put contentious demands into perspective. They feel more definite about their choices and more self-reliant. They observe a sense of balance, a centeredness.
8.      Be a peacetime patriot. Joe Posner has achieved wealth and recognition selling life insurance. Some years ago, Posner helped form an society in his hometown of Rochester, Ny to prepare underprivileged children for school and life and, he hopes, break the poverty cycle. You may find some equally worthy way to give something back straight through your church, hospital, civic club, alumni relationship or by doing some pro bono work. Or you may help individuals privately, even anonymously. There are marvelous rewards for balancing personal interests with the needs of the tasteless good. One of the most breathtaking is the sheer joy that can come from giving. Another  reward is the great world that you help create.
9.      Do what you love to do. As a boy, Aaron Copeland spent hours listening to his sister convention the piano because he loved music. By following that love, he became America's most predominant composer of classical must. When I asked him years later if he had even been disappointed by that option Copeland replied, "My life has been enchanting." What a word to sum up a life. By itself, loving what you do does not ensure success. You need to be good at what you love. But if you love what you do, the time you spend becoming competent is less likely to be drudgery.
10.  Focus on strategy. As foremost as it is, how to save time for balancing your life is not the extreme question. That request is, "What am I salvage time for?" Strategy has to do with being successful - but successful at what? If others pay your salary, being strategic commonly means convincing them that you are spending your time in a way that benefits them. If there is a dispute over how you should use your time, whether convince the citizen who can reward or punish you that your idea about using time is appropriate, or look for other job. The "what for?" request should also be asked about the life you live. It is truly a overall request and gets at the request of wholeness.
 
So what makes for a successful balance life? I can think of no great definition than the one given by Ralph Waldo Emerson:
     To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intriguing citizen and affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to experience the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a salutary child, a orchad patch or a redeemed collective condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because I have lived. This is to have succeeded.
 

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Balancing Your Work, house and social Life

Balancing Your Work, house and social Life